From "The Swaay Times" news healthdesk - "Why u should not fear this thing called 'the STD'"

Jeff! Lim brings u the latest in health news reporting, by "The Swaay Times" ("swaay" ur opinion, "swaay" ur votes..., whatever)

"Why u should not fear this thing called 'the STD'"

Fact number 1: the STD only goes after sexually active communists (and suspected sexually active communists). Since we all know that there are now no more communists in the world... no STD can come up to u, and lock u up by simply saying that u are a "sexually active communist" (like in the old days).

*Note: if you know of any sexually active female communists left in the world, pls notify me. So that we can all share what we have together with each other, all in the pure joy of pure, innocent, sexual communism.

Fact number 2: the STD cannot label u a sexually active communist, so it will try to label u "a radical extremist"((tm), (c) George Bush) instead. This is because u can have too many wives and therefore too many sexual partners. But not to worry - so long as u make sure that u are not a sexual extremist((tm), (c) George Bush), and u always use your common sense when engaging in sexual activities, what is there to worry about?

Condoms are very safe nowadays - and lots of people are also actively monitoring back the STD, to catch it in its misdeeds, and to make sure that it doesnt overstep its condom boundaries to harm and infect innocent people who are only exercising their freedom to "have a good time"(tm). You think only the STD got voyeurs ah? Pls lah, we also got voyeurs among the STD-watchers ok!!! The STD also have to watch out!!! Don't pray pray ah, i tell u!!!

Two can play at that game, man ("watching other people").

We also believe in this thing called "Sexual Rights Democracy (SRD)," and the Sexual Rights Movement (SRM). And also, lots of foreign and nosy reporters (and BiGGG organizations) are always eager to get their hands on the latest scoop on Sexual Rights in Singapore. Veery encouraging, sia, i say. Do u know what happened to Saddam Hussein, btw? Some stupid cowboy in Texas decided that it would be very good for the US to invade Iraq, and thus get rid of that long-time dictator, also calleed "Lee Limp Eh Hussein." All we have to do is to just try to prove that we have the possibility of having Mass Weapons of Sexual Destruction - and i'm sure the US will be next to invade into our Singaporean shores and depose of any Sexual Rights Dictators, and any SRDs (Sexual Regimes and Dynasties). Reconstruction is not a problem for them (the US) - Bush & Co. have their own Singapore-story-inspired (*Singapore has to be first in everything, ok) "Gah Gee Nung"-Linked Construction companies and what-not.

--- End of "Why u should not fear this thing called 'the STD'" Part 1 ---

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