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Dave in trouble

This one courtesy of Comedy Central's "Joke of the Day"... (I weed out the good stuff for you guys ;)):

Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser." "No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them." A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. "Hi, Davey," she says, "Want your usual table dance?"

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real doozie this time, Dave!"

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"Normal"

What is "normal" to most of us? Normal is...

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
- Ellen Goodman

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One-Way Trichet?

(via IdleBanter August 2008):

Making his way toward Paris one day in 1524, the impecunious French humanist and writer Francois Rabelais found himself stranded at a country inn with no means to continue his journey, never mind to pay his bill.

He assembled three small packets - labeled "Poison for the King," "Poison for Monsieur," and "Poison for the Dauphin" - and left them wehere the innkeeper was sure to see them. When the man duly informed the police, Rabelais was promptly arrested and brought to Paris for questioning. The packets were soon examined and found to be empty, whereupon Rabelais explained his plight and was immediately released, having completed his trip at no expense.

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