I-S I-Spy

spotted in last week's edition of I-S Magazine:

from the (i-dont-know-what-u-call-this) section, on page 3... -

I-S magazine No. 272 - Friday Sep 16, 2005 -

White Elephants

A naked man with an unknown name sits alone on a cheap plastic chair next to an empty table in a bare room. In walk two men in blue (MIB).

MIB1: What do you know about elephants?
Man: Pink, blue, yellow, green or red?
MIB2: What's the difference?
Man: Pink elephants mean you're drunk on bourbon; blue elephants mean you're in deep safari; yellow elephants mean you're neglecting the Katrina victims; green elephants mean you're a Republican environmentalist; and red elephants mean you're harboring an endangered species. What color elephants?
MIB1: White.
Man: You must report it to the King of Siam! White elephants are sacred animals.
MIB2: No, they're not, you idiot. They're a symbol of uselessness.
Man: That's only when you're given a white elephant as a present. Indochinese kings used to present their less than favorite courtiers with white elephants, the upkeep cost of which would soon bankrupt the disliked courtiers. After 17th century England learnt of this quaint, subtle and very effective custom, the phrase "white elephant" gradually came to mean "an expensive but useless ornament".
MIB1: Huh?
Man: You did ask if I knew anything about elephants. Well, I do.
MIB2: Hey, what about cardboard cutouts of white elephants in Sengkang?
Man: Is something or someone in Sengkang useless?
MIB1: Are you referring to the yet to be opened NEL station?
Man: It is not in use, is it not? Hence it is useless, is it not?
MIB2: Idiot! It's a crime to exhibit white elephants in public!
Man: Happiness lies only in that which excites, and excitement lies in doing that which is forbidden.
MIB1: Your way of thinking cannot be tolerated.
Man: You say that my way of thinking cannot be tolerated? What of it? The man who alters his way of thinking to suit others is a fool. My way of thinking is the result of my reflections. It is part of my inner being, the way I am made. I do not contradict them, and would not even if I wished to. My system, which you disapprove of, is also my greatest comfort in life, the source of all my happiness--it means more to me than my life itself.

A third man in blue walks in.

MIB3: [whispers to his colleagues] We've just found out his name. He's the Marquis.


For more on white elephants, pls refer to this sg_review yahoogroups search.

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