If you care to believe it, this blog tries to make a difference in the world by dedicating itself to the Democracy, Discussion, Freedom, and Furtherment of Comedy.

The author (mainly? sometimes??) talks about Singapore, but is into all things comedy and comical. And once even seriously entertained the notion of going into stand-up comedy full-time.

*(Note for my international readers - those words in Chinese are translated literally as "You ask me, I ask me, you ask me, ...")

Here's a rather long note from TheOptical about the dance of the whole matter. I will not quote the whole thing, but in the interest of journalistic integrity, i have provided the means by which u may obtain the full article, and thereby, relieve urself, of the yoke of the Swaay-ed Times (whose wholesome mission is known to be to swaay the opinions of the whole nation in support of wholesomely officially endorsed "national effort(s)").

And now, for the main quote of the day: *(emphasis mine)

From: The Optical <theoptical@y...>
Subject: Chee Soon Juan's Letter & Questions for Lee Kuan Yew, Part 1

The following was emailed to us by the Singapore Democratic Party for dissemination.

We will post Part II in a day or two.

Editor
TheOptical
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Chee's wants MM Lee to answer interrogatories - Part I

Dr Chee Soon Juan has sued Mr Lee Kuan Yew for calling him “a fraud, a liar and a cheat, a dishonest person, a flawed character and a political gangster^#1.”

Dr Chee’s suit was dismissed yesterday by the courts because the SDP secretary-general refused to answer the interrogatories Lee Kuan Yew had served on him.

Interrogatories are questions one party can ask of the other in order to confirm or clarify facts and opinions. Mr Lee applied to the courts to require Dr Chee to answer a total of 96 interrogatories. The courts have agreed with Mr Lee that all his questions are relevant and ordered Dr Chee to reply to all of them, failing which his case against the MM will be dismissed.

In return Dr Chee has asked Mr Lee to answer his questions. [Jeff! Lim's note - this is where the shuffling back and forth of the cha-cha begins... - "you ask me (questions), i ask u (questions)..."] In addition, Dr Chee has written to Mr Lee (see letter below) to answer the questions regardless of whether the courts allowed them or not. This is because Dr Chee’s questions relate directly to Mr Lee’s own conduct on which the SDP secretary-general wanted to rely on in order to prove his case. Dr Chee has stipulated that he will answer Mr Lee’s interrogatories if and only if the MM agrees to answer his. Mr Lee refused.[SHIT!!! Why are u backing off from him, and letting us watch the stupid, meaningless cha-cha, instead of charging forward to the battle^#2??? What is there to fear??? Now no more public political battle entertainment to watch liao. I HATE u, Mr MM Lee (**SHIT!!! I just said something UNHOLY. Just joking only ah!!! Pls dont sue me ah!!! :)).] Part I of Dr Chee’s interrogatories to the MM are appended following the letter below.


21 February 2005

Mr Lee Kuan Yew
Minister Mentor
Annexe, Istana

Singapore

Dear Sir,

As you know the case regarding my suit against you has come to the stage of interrogatories. You have asked a total of 96 questions in your interrogatories to me, and you have asked the courts to dismiss my suit should I fail to answer them by 28 February 2005.

I too have taken an application for a hearing to require you to answer my interrogatories. I note that you have instructed your counsel to oppose my application. In other words, you do not want to answer my interrogatories to you. You are aware that I have stated that while I have no problems in answering your questions, I will do it under one and only one condition: That you do the same for my interrogatories to you. If you fail to do so, I give you notice that I will not respond to your interrogatories.

This will obviously result in my action against you being dismissed. I am willing to sacrifice this for one simple reason: As much as you would like to hold me responsible for my actions hence your interrogatories to me, you must be held accountable for yours.

As you can see, the questions are straightforward with most of them requiring simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers. They are crucial to my proving the case against you. I hope that you will not hide behind the legal system and avoid answering my questions. If you do, it will be yet another indication that you continue to avoid facing me in court. In the interest of getting to the bottom of the entire matter, I am prepared to answer all of your interrogatories. I only hope that you will not be diffident in answering mine.

As my application to serve the interrogatories on you will be heard on 25 February 2005, please let me have your response by 23 February 2005. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Chee Soon Juan
---------------------------------------------------------------

...

cha cha cha!!!

^#2This is a meaningless quote, but for the sake of entertainment, i reproduce it here - from "The Hatchet Man of Singapore", by J B Jeyaretnam -

ALL THOSE WHO HAVE DEALT WITH ME KNOW THAT I HAVE NEVER FLINCHED FROM GOING INTO A DARK STREET ON A DARK NIGHT AND IT HAPPENS TO BE A CUL DE SAC. NO OUTLET - EITHER THE GANGSTER^#1 OR I WILL COME OUT ALIVE.

I HAVE DONE THIS A FEW TIMES. I AM PREPARED TO DO THIS AGAIN.
- Lee Kuan Yew, Straits Times 3 Nov, 1995

Somehow or other, i also feel inspired to quote from the Bible as well - pls do not ask me why, u will get no reply from me - lots of people love to quote from the Bible - so here goes...:

Matthew 21:23-27
23 Now when He came into the temple, the chief priests and the elders of the people confronted Him as He was teaching, and said, "By what authority are You doing these things? And who gave You this authority?"
24 But Jesus answered and said to them, "I also will ask you one thing, which if you tell Me, I likewise will tell you by what authority I do these things:
25 "The baptism of John -- where was it from? From heaven or from men?" And they reasoned among themselves, saying, "If we say, 'From heaven,' He will say to us, 'Why then did you not believe him?'
26 "But if we say, 'From men,' we fear the multitude, for all count John as a prophet."
27 So they answered Jesus and said, "We do not know." And He said to them, "Neither will I tell you by what authority I do these things.

*Note - the cha-cha involves hip-twisting movements (not suitable for old men), and simple feet shuffling movements (great for all ages). A great exercise, i say. "Cha-cha" may be learnt at all great (Uniquely) Singaporean RC Centres, - and possibly on the Internet as well.

**The predominant movement in the cha-cha involves (i am a stereotypical gangster - so pls do not blame me if i am not technically 100% correct) both partners shuffling back and forth between each other - one partner moves the left foot forward while the other moves the right foot back, then followed by this "stepping-back partner" moving the right foot forward again..., while the other partner moves the left foot back. Repeat ad infinitum - unless somebody backs out.

***And in case anybody wants to ask - (i will pre-empt u) - my father is 62 years old. :)