on the issue of our national "pride" and our "Singaporean-ness"

just thought to do a write-up on this today since (a) i have been thinking about it for a long time now, and (b) i have been inspired to do so (just by the pure, simple act, of watching the news on CNA today).

Just what am i talking about? The general prevalence of that "ang mo" (or "white"), equals "superior" mentality (tell me if this is not true man, u low-down, yellow, fat bastard) among Singaporeans. More specifically, i will be focussing in [sic] on the irritating "fake accent" issue that always seems to rear its ugly head nowadays and stick its sticky, icky fingers into your ears whenever u listen to the news).

Just what am i talking about? just watch the news - watch Singaporeans getting interviewed (and even amateur newscasters presenting their news!!! but i'll give them some leeway lah - since they are supposed to develop an "accent" anyway while on the job) on tv - and u'll hear what i mean!!!

Get interviewed on tv and suddenly u develop a fake accent.

how to tell if anybody has a fake accent:
- doesn't do the 'r' sound at the end of a word (eg. "older" - "oo,duh", vs "o-L-deR' (or miss out the 'r' sound in the middle of a word as well - eg. "woRd" - vs. "w-uh-d")
- problems with the 'th' sound - "this", "that", "three"
- uGLy SOuNdiNg aNd jUsT pLaiN 'sEE-SaW Up-aND-DoWn' vOicE InFleCtiOnS thAt nOt jUst not make any sense at all - but are just plain jarring to the ears as well. Yeaaah, pal - eeeeverybody just knows that u're not fake!!!ing an accent for the moment, maaaan.
- s-lo-www... ra-ate of spee-eech in order to try to sound... "professional" - necessary as well becauZz boo-lain izz too S-looowwww to cope with all the added stress on something that has heretofore been "natural" (and "naturally Singapore" - ie. meaning, a _flat_ accent). Also called "stumbling upon yourself" because u're thinking way too much about it. ("th"s, "r"s, "up-and-down inflection"... AAAAARRRRGHH!!!! Now what was i supposed to say again??? oh dont mind me!! - i'm just trying to sound "deep"..., and "professional"... - by putting in waaaay too much thoughts into the words that are cominggg, out of my, bloodyyy, mouth)
- trying underneath the collar to soound deeesperately "ang mo" - and in the process... FUCK UP! the entire thing by trying to be "smarter", and insert their own "ang mo-ized" versions (at least in their own twit brains), or pronunciations, of certain words (typical example - "cheee-yooo" for "You" - even when the ending sound of the word before the "you" is not a 'ch' sound at all)

Now try to hit us with at least "more authentic"-sounding fake accents, u motherfuckers.

(note: it is the author's own personal opinion that is ok to work on your diction - and on injecting more "life" into ur voice if u are [a] doing it conscientiously - as a matter of personal self-improvement (i understand and will accept people who do that), and [b] working on it consistently. I myself do it as well - because i need to - doing stand-up comedy is just like doing public speaking - u have to be heard clearly, in order to be understood. "Suddenly developing" the accent when speaking to somebody with a real accent (or to somebody who has shown marked improvements from really conscientiously working on it) though, is just plain... well you only have to listen to those idiots who do that on tv... - and u'll realize just how stupid, dumb, insecure or just plain "loser-ish" that they sound to u.

Now go figure.)

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